I became a mother

It's been almost a year. 1 year. In almost a month, it'll be a year. Since then, a new part of me has become alive.

A part of me that cares about the world. She has always existed within me, but this new part is not like before.

She holds out her arms and is received with love by a tiny creature that she bore life to. This woman has weight. She has depth. She has responsibility for her life and the well-being of others. She has a daughter.

And so, I cry.

I cry for tiny innocent lives that were cut too short.

For children in peril and in pain.

For the harshness that this world offers as they must learn to still rise.

For the future of those who are not held in the love they so much deserve.

For mothers who lose their babies.

I cry for mothers who have complicated births.

For the pain they feel when they can not hold their child after birth due to complications.

I cry for the parents who lose themselves in parenting.

For those that are no longer available emotionally because the post partum takes over and pushes them away from one amother.

I cry for parents who separate within the first few hard months of their new life.

I cry for them.

And yet,

Now, in this new understanding of love and pain.

I also rejoice.

I rejoice in the moments my child walks to me.

As she holds out her arms and says mama.

She has me forever.

I hold her heart and she holds mine.

I rejoice in the beauty of how my husband tickles her and she laughs in delight.

I rejoice in the moments we get to share together. My tiny family, and I.

And so, I cry while I rejoice.

But the beauty of it all, is that now, I am aware enough to be gentle with my tears and infectious with my joy.

For they are measures of the love and life I hold so precious.

In this way, in this story of life and time, I became a mother.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR DEAR FRIENDS! ❤️

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