friends...
The secret to making great friends is seeing them for the genuine people they are. Not everyone wants to be genuine, most people are afraid of this. The good ones are not afraid of being themselves
Today, I woke up feeling like things were in balance for me. I found myself in a state of emotional regulation, which has been really off balance lately. Hormones and babies take a toll, and I haven't felt like myself in a long time. I also haven't known what to write about lately. There is a truth around feeling pressure to write about interesting topics and speak to your community in a way that they can hear and feel what you are saying.
I feel like everything is NEW for me.
Granted, I have so much newness in my life. I'm living in a new country, about to move into a new apartment, I have just become a new mother, and my sweet little-year-old cat just became a new mother of 5 kittens, so technically, I am a new mother of 2, and a new grandmother of 5. That’s 7x the new for a whole paragraph.
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All that being said, I haven't told anyone yet about all of these massive shifts. I have a few good friends, true and true, but because I'm in a different timezone, and my baby demands so much of me, she is only 4 months old so that's not a complaint, but rather a fact. I find myself wanting to connect with my people and seldom do I have a moment to chat. There are a few interesting things that my friends have made me realize. My key insights so to speak-
Time is a commodity!
Everyone genuinely wants the best for each other, but doesn’t always say it.
Everyone is going through it, it being life's ups and downs, and it always happens in waves.
There are specific things you should and will talk about, based on the friend and their stage in life.
If you are a full-time parent, running a business, or submerged in something else that gives you very little time in a day and you still create the time, you are a very good friend.
It was one of my best friends' birthdays a few days ago. I'm the kind of person who has only best friends. I have a small close circle, the rest of the people I know are second - or third-party circles. I have very close friends. The secret to making great friends is seeing them for the genuine people they are. Not everyone wants to be genuine, most people are afraid of this. I find that the good ones are not afraid of being themselves. They are raw and marvelous in their imperfections. I've cultivated meaningful relationships, reciprocated time and energy, and adored them all. The birthday came as a surprise. I was fully in mommy mode, and I sent her a message a few days early. There is something really special about birthdays that I feel needs to be celebrated, and with certain friends and family, it's easy to make them feel that.
But friends make us feel that way all the time. At least the good ones do. Your tribe, your soul family, or best friends should make you feel like no matter what you have going on, it's all good. We get it, we love you, and we celebrate each other always.
When I first came into this understanding, I weeded out some major soul suckers. It wasn't intentional on their end, but sometimes you'll find that you might give way too much to a one-ended relationship, leaving you tired and starving for real connection.
In my case, friends have been a very important part of my life. I have always relied on them to help me through the hard times and wanted to reciprocate their needs as well. My dad used to tell me that I should probably become a therapist with how I'd answer the phone and talk about their personal life choices and give advice, sometimes unsolicited, which now I've learned to stop doing. Also, I took his advice and worked as an Akashic guide and Somatic mentor.
Now that I'm older, I realize that your best friends are a mixture of free therapists, adventure seekers, loyal companions, and inspirations all in one. My husband has been a mix of all of that, and for that, I’m extremely grateful. As for the people who still show up whom I did not marry, they are the best gifts a gal could ask for.
Cherish your good ones, my friends. There is so much life to be enjoyed with good company.
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p.p.s.I also have a small business where I help people find a way back to themselves. It's the way I help people heal. Go to www.ritualcomun.com to connect further with me.
Awesome read 👏👏