kittens

Cats, babies, and beautiful moments

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My mom once told me, that if you want a child, first take care of a plant, then a fish, and then a kitten, and if all of those things stay alive, you’re ready for a baby.  I managed to take care of all of those things, in that order.

 I have to confess that when I became pregnant, I went into complete mama mode. I craved a tiny creature to love and I knew that I needed some preparation before my daughter came.

Once our cat  Saiya came into our lives, they changed forever. We learned how to become better partners, and found that our parenting style was a little different than we imagined. My husband spoils her and gives to her every whim. I, on the other hand, wanted to set some boundaries and have consistency with her. She was our precious little black-coated jewel. She stole our hearts from the moment she met us.

We lived in Romania at the time that we found her. She unassumingly strolled into our lives just 3 days after I said to my husband, “I think we are ready for a cat.”

She was only a month old when she came to us, she was still needing to suckle and we bought her a baby bottle to give her milk from. She was found by herself, and although I have no idea what her story prior to us was, I could tell that her mother was very affectionate with her. 

She nurtured us in the most amazing way. I was so hormonal, so often, I cried. She would come to me, lick my tears, and purr to soothe me. Sometimes it made me cry more to know that she was so loving and wonderful. She healed my heart when I was unsure and ultimately gave me a sense that I could be a mother, with enough love, anything was possible. 

We traveled to Spain with her, knowing that there was something extraordinary about the importance of the timing between hers and our daughter’s birth. It was like she came for Esme. We knew that we wanted her to have kittens of her own. It was just too much of an obvious trait that naturally came out. She was so nurturing and loving, she was born to be a mother. We also realized that if she had kittens of her own, they could keep her company later on, as everyone got older. 

I was 10 days postpartum and her first heat came. Prior to her, I knew nothing about heat and the process which cats have to endure when they are in heat. We went through a few rounds of constant meowing and relaxing her stiff body. By nature, her hormones were out of control. We gave her catnip for the first time in her life, and it barely calmed her down. Weeks at a time went by, when finally after 4 rounds of heat, the lack of sleep from our newborn took the wheel and someone left the door open. She instantly was pregnant. 

Because she is so small, we couldn’t tell that she was pregnant for almost the entire time. Cats only stay pregnant for 2 months and after they give birth and begin breastfeeding, they can go back into heat soon after. I feel like nature wanted to populate the world with cats because they have so much breeding potential and also because they are wonderful. Saiya gave birth in our daughter’s bassinet. Esme hadn’t been using the bassinet for about a month, and the days came when she was frantically looking for a place to birth them. She almost had them on our bed, but we convinced her to stay in the small covered bassinet. She had trouble pushing out the second baby, and I helped the sac come out. My husband almost had a heart attack when I started helping because he thought she would reject her baby, but she was in pain and the sac was stuck. I gently guided the sac out and she did the rest by pulling it out all the way and breaking it open for the kitten to emerge. She had 5 kittens.

Sol, Grayson, Amelia, Selene, and Camila, from biggest to smallest. These perfect little creatures stole our hearts and cohabited with us for a whole month while they lived in our closet with their mother. Siaya is a nurturing mother. She cared for them and cleaned them constantly. Always making sure that all 5 were within her reach. She breastfed all the kittens at the same time and would purposely give extra milk sessions to Camila, the runt of the litter.   

I wanted to exclusively breastfeed Esme but she didn’t begin to latch for almost 3 months. Siaya and I were both breastfeeding at the same time for the following 3 months. Our babies grew together and Esme learned to crawl in the next few months by copying the kittens. She naturally crawled on all 4, hands and feet, like a kitten. She learned to be gentle while touching them, and they in turn learned to be gentle with her. 

There were some light scratches and cries, some yelps and loud meows, but after a time or two, with supervised play, they all began to feel like family. They understand the concept of baby vs kitty, but still include her in their various toy chases and curiosity. The kitties and Esme have become a unit. She is now 6 months old, and her first word and sound has been GAH- short for Gato/ which is Spanish for cat. She will look at them and say GAH and start bouncing with excitement. 

Meanwhile, we linger on the fact that we cannot keep them all. If we could, we’d open a cat cafe and host it for them to play all day and people to enjoy their wonderful company. They can soothe even the wildest of emotions. 

While looking for the perfect homes for them, I have found that I am overprotective of the kind of energy they need from wherever they go. It is not easy to allow myself to believe that a stranger can provide a great home for them. My mom has volunteered to take 2 home to California with her. This is a far journey, but a suitable one for our two little girls, Camila and Amelia. I even hound my own mother about how she will handle them together and what she will do when they begin to “be kittens” and play like they do. 

One of the boys, Greyson, will be going with a single mother and her 12 yr old son. The boy is very loving and came over to see them all. Grayson instantly bonded with him. Ever since he came over, Grayson has had an inkling that he is leaving. He has been sleeping a little more than normal, and cuddling with us almost exclusively. They have so much inner knowing and people take them for granted. 

I feel so many emotions around it all. I am sad and glad, grateful, and hopeful, yet saddened by the loss of our beautiful new additions. We will keep 2, Sol and Selene, along with their mama, Saiya. This transition seems simple and yet it feels like the world is turning around. The moments we get to share with the beings that fill our days with joy is to be forever cherished. I wish the best for them on their journey and am thankful it got to be us who gave them love first. The interconnectedness between us and them, birth and child, change and transition has so much weight behind it. Words cannot describe how connected I feel to it all.

They are still with us for a couple more months, and Grayson will leave first. I think them leaving will mark an important time in my family’s lives and I want to share the lessons that they give us everyday. If i had to extract one lesson from each of their essences I'd say this-

Saiya teaches us to remember the power of our family and the love we create.

Sol teaches us to always observe and think outside the box with care.

Grayson teaches us to show affection and protect one another.

Amelia teaches us to stay hungry and explore the world that we are in.

Seline teaches us to play well with others.

Camila teaches us to put our own needs first, then take care of others.

I believe whole heartedly that I will do my best to honor them all as they have spent the past few months growing in our home. It's been the sweetest addition to life's experiences.

It will be heartbreaking when they have to go, so in a way I wish to prepare myself for it with you, reading this here. The best I can do is share what I know, not what I don’t. 

1. Artwork by Jane Crowther